Well here I am on the eve of my BIG 30 days and I find myself doing this self-sabotage stuff. I suppose some of it is the good ol’ hormonal stuff going on but part of it is perhaps being afraid of succeeding at something. It seems I have a handle on the alcohol free – mind you it has been really hard over the past few days… and I guess I’ve replaced it with eating and I feel shitty about it!
I was tracking my food and it’s no wonder I can’t lose weight and even crazier that I used to do this when I was drinking too – eat loads of junk and not pay any attention to just how much I was consuming. So now that I am that close to 30 days – well it’s weird because you see, the last time I tried to do the 30 days I was so focused on day 31 so I could have a drink again that it seemed to take forever to get here.
This time, I know I’m going for 100 days and now I’m trying to figure out the ‘new’ routine of not drinking while not self-sabotaging other areas of my life. I have about 35lbs to lose to bring me to a ‘happy’ and healthy weight. I’m tired of the gutt and well frankly the booze did not help. Now that I am almost 30 days without … why the HELL am I screwing myself around with the food thing. Again, as I said – I know this is part of my cyclical hormonal bullshit and I saw it coming over the weekend … along with Wolfie who was messing with my head.
I am feeling really tired too and was lacking motivation to get my workout in today which I knew I needed badly so I pushed myself and got my ass downstairs to do my minimal 25 minutes of the 5 Factor Fitness program, and YES I felt better.
I need to stop the self-sabotage and start to accept that YES I can be successful and I will do this!! Not only will I remain alcohol free but I will maintain my health and fitness goals including eating good foods – and really work to avoid falling into the sugar trap as a replacement for the alcohol as I have read so many of us do when we quit ‘da booze.
I think I need to post this note as my screen saver or something because I know every day is a new chance to start again – and as I close today, I will make tomorrow – my 30th day booze free one to be super proud of on all levels!