A Work in Progress – Day 1 Again…

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So the BBQ yesterday for Canada Day – drinks were involved and one was placed in front of me and I had some. The host was definitely a ‘pusher’ but it was my own doing and I was ok with it (except for the headache as it’s not a drink I normally drink). So I had a couple and then came home and laid down to try to get rid of the headache. Perhaps my body is telling me that the stuff is toxic for me. I used to get frequent headaches/migraines and when I had my 33 day stretch – I noticed I didn’t have any such pains…

So I’m back on Day 1 and planning on another stretch. I am still in the 100 day challenge and want to get there – to see if the noise really will quiet down … and just because it’s something I have not done in decades.

It is definitely a work in progress and I have my moments – strong one minute and weak the next when the chatter in my head gets too loud and I start convincing myself that it’s ok to have a drink.

As I have said before, I’m not sure if I want to quit for good, but I do want to try to achieve this milestone of 100 days. I know there will be many social situations presenting themselves to me and it’s a matter of either staying away from some or planning better strategies to ensure I don’t fail.

Things at home are calming down for now – so that will definitely help. My oldest is now gone to Florida for the summer leaving me alone with my 12 year old who was having the issues… maybe the time we’ll have alone will allow us to heal some of the wounds and with counseling I hope she will be in better spirits before school starts up again.

I also got to see my wonderful friend today – it’s amazing how he makes me feel so great! He’s a man I met back in March and we’re not an item per say, but he’s just the ‘medicine’ I need in my hectic life right now. AND – he DOESN’T drink 🙂 … he’s been super busy with work but things are going to slow down for him after July 8th until Sept 25th so my hope is we’ll see each other at least once a week. He gives me motivation to stay sober and also to get in shape. Dating has that effect on a girl… you want to look good for ‘da man 😉 (but I am also doing this for ME so I can feel good about ME).

It’s just another reason to stay sober and on track with my health/exercise goals. When I drink – I tend to neglect my workout routine. So it’s July 2nd – and it may not be completely dry because I had drinks yesterday, but I’m aiming for the rest of the month being dry.

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3 thoughts on “A Work in Progress – Day 1 Again…

  1. Moderation. Drinking normally. Taking it or leaving it. These are all foreign things to me, Helene. So I can’t really speak to what you mention – that perhaps this is just a phase, that you are not sure if you want to stop, etc. I love the honesty. If I were in a position where I was one of those dudes who went from blackouts and poor judgement calls and dodgy incidents all because of booze and then drank responsibly, then I could probably say a thing or two. But since things for me always went downward, I don’t have that experience.

    I know you want to be healthy, fit of mind, body and emotions. You want the best for yourself and your children. You perhaps don’t even want a blog describing this battle within you…you’d rather just snorkel, or have a normal Canada Day’s celebration without stress or headaches or regret, etc. And I hope you get what you’re looking for, my friend. I am behind ya, and send positive vibes your way 🙂

    Happy belated Canada Day and I can’t wait to hear about Day 2

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • losedabooze says:

      You’re right Paul – ultimately, my goal is to be healthy mind/body/spirit. My experiences with alcohol were not all negative – but there definitely were many instances where had alcohol not been involved my life could have turned out very differently. I guess I’m in the exploring stages of figuring it all out and what I want for my life. Writing helps me work it out and gets it outta my head… and feedback from wonderful people like you make it that much better. Thank you for taking the time to comment. It means a lot!

  2. Elle says:

    You can do it, girlfriend, and you have lots of friends here if needed.

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