Give Me Strength

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I wrote once about in a blog about Focus shifts to other areas of my life and the whole issue of my ‘woes’ with booze become a ‘moot’ point. Just when I thought things were improving for my 12 year old, I come home to discover she has self-harmed again. It breaks my heart to see her do this to herself – but you know – I guess I can view my own booze habit as a form of self-harm. Perhaps if I look at my binge drinking the way I view her cutting – it would be easy to just literally CUT that out of my life.

I need strength and clarity to get me through the tough times I’m dealing with – a 12 year old and 17 year old… both living some hard things and I’m smack dab in the middle of it. The counseling, the doctor’s appointments, the time and concentration it’s taking away from my work – not easy to deal with.

I walked by the river today and prayed to God for Strength… for Help to get us through this ok.

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When one is faced with other ‘life’ difficulties outside of our focus here – well mine anyhow, it just gives me a whole different perspective on things. The thought or debate about having a drink tonight did not even enter my mind. Instead, it convinced me of the life changes I need to make to stay strong – like getting out and walking or doing some form of physical activity to relieve the stress and think things through. My walk by the river tonight did that – I thought about what to do next and came home with a clearer head – putting in another few miles in (I walked over 4 miles today as well as did about 60mins of cardio and strength training).

Like I said – I have an addictive type personality so when I decide to do something, I dive right in. I need this diversion right now – to get me to feel better and stronger. I will be turning in soon – Day 2 done… with much more important matters at hand, it was a no brainer today.

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5 thoughts on “Give Me Strength

  1. Elle says:

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like she shouldn’t be alone right now..xoxo

  2. I am praying for your wee ones…and for you. You are doing what you need to do to be the best mother you can be. I know you are working at this, and struggling with this. We get more clarity as we get further from the bottle and battle the hard stuff – life without booze. But life gives us plenty to work with, through the Creator. Prayer has helped me more than I can say. Keep praying, keep walking, keep love in your heart. I am with you 🙂

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • losedabooze says:

      Thank you Paul – I have been praying and trying to let go of the worry, but it’s very difficult. It’s clear to me that I have to do this with a sober mind to keep my strength to get through this.

  3. bizi says:

    just wanted to let you know that I am reading and thinking that I wish there was some way for me to help you.
    sending positive thoughts and energy your way.
    bizi

  4. Em says:

    I am hoping that things turn around for you too.

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