Triggers – those ‘things’ that tempt us to…

Image

 

Part of my growth as I try to become sober is recognizing the triggers that make me want to have that drink – and today was one of them… Whenever my body is tired, achy and I have that lingering headache looming over me all day – a drink was how I seemed to be able to soothe it. 

But NOT today as I wrap up Day 4 sober. There were a few other triggers today – my doubts/worries and overthinking a situation – when I try to tell the voices to shut up … and used to reach for a drink to drown them out. 

I will admit that today I felt tempted to have a drink – but the thought passed relatively quickly and I’m thankful because I am also very ’emotionally’ drained from all the stuff I’ve been dealing with around my kids (another trigger as a single mom trying to juggle it all and like so many used the booze to escape for a bit). 

Today instead I got to meet up with my guy friend for the escape. He’s not someone who can commit too much time to me and I debated if I could handle it because while it’s only been since March – and we don’t see each other often – I find myself more and more attracted to him so trying to play it cool. In all honesty, with all that I’m trying to tackle – getting sober, my 12 year old’s self-harming issues, my 17 year old’s depression/anxiety and talk of moving out again, and now a move… seeing him very occasionally with no relationship type commitment is just about my speed if I am truly honest.

I know that right now is not a good time to begin a new relationship – I think that’s something of a step in AA (or so I’ve seen / heard in movies). So for now going to keep concentrating on me. Learning what my triggers are, recognizing them and managing them – SOBER. 

I still don’t know if I’ll be sober for good – but for today – YES I am! And now I’m going to listen to my body and turn in and get a good night’s sleep since my daughter is out with a friend and I can rest assured she is ‘safe’. 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Triggers – those ‘things’ that tempt us to…

  1. Elle says:

    sounds like you are doing great and congrats on your “date”

  2. eacarrington2 says:

    I am very happy for you.
    happy that you saw him again.

    (((((HUGS))))))
    bizi

  3. The whole thing about relationships in the first year isn’t a step or has anything to do with AA. It’s just one of those collective wisdom things – and I tend to agree that getting into a new relationship could end up on the rocks, and someone pouring something on the rock soon after. Or so they say. I *have* seen a lot of newbies come in and hook up, and sometimes it works. More often it doesn’t. And it doesn’t mean you will drink, but the idea is that we are learning to connect with ourselves for the first time. We are being honest and focusing on what we need to stay sober and looking at our own inner lives for the first time…in an honest way. Having a relationship, a new one, takes away from that. We get so wrapped up in the newness and excitement of that person that we stop doing the things that we have been doing – whatever it is (for those in AA, it’s meetings, doing the steps, meeting with sponsor, etc…for others it could be journaling, therapy, blogging, hobbies, etc). So if we don’t even know who we are yet, how can we offer ourselves to others?

    Anyway, that’s my view. I would never tell anyone to not get into a relationship soon after they stop drinking, but I would say be careful. In a loving way. 🙂

    Blessings,
    Paul

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s