Interesting how from my last post to today’s – how much has happened. After I wrote about not going to my sister’s place or visiting with my niece, I found myself on a phone call that Thursday evening and ended up going there – to bring my daughter to go help out. I ended up breaking my AF streak after 10 days and ended up having drinks for 4 days in a row – enjoying the bliss of no kids in the house and PEACE for a few days.
Now today – I’m back to Day 1 AF and reflecting on the past 4 days and all that I did – the drive for 4.5 hours on Friday and back Saturday. Spending time with my sister at the restaurant and just visiting – for the first time since Easter. She asked me about going again for the long weekend – but I said I wouldn’t because I have to drive up again this coming weekend and 2 weekends in a row there is enough for me.
I’m going to make time to visit a friend this trip up – so I’m not sure that I’ll be AF – but I think I’m going to try. No promises.
I am feeling very nervous and anxious about my 17 year old coming home tomorrow but thankful that we’ll have alone time to talk and figure things out (my youngest is happily earning some money to help buy school clothes as they go back next Tuesday). I have the ex who now has the legal letter in his hands and it’s now a waiting game to see what card he’s going to pull next. I pray that things will work themselves out – and I have to keep reminding myself that this too shall pass…
So now I am back to focusing on my self-care and staying strong for the next little while – with school startup, financial juggling, the move, the legal matters, the packing/de-cluttering and dealing with the teens… I’ve got plenty to keep me busy.
I’m not going to put too much pressure on the days but rather try to just take things as they come – ONE at a time. Hoping to quiet the voices inside for a while and experience some peace.