Living in the Now

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On days like today it’s so important to recognize how key it is to live in the moment. I was feeling kind of I don’t know blah or ansy tonight. I got on Facebook and read some awful news about a friend who’s father was badly burned in a house fire. Then this morning I learned of another friend’s young granddaughter (2.5 years) passing.

I know from my own experiences of hurt and loss how hard this is – and I also know that it means I have to give my head a shake. I’ve been feeling off or in a funk. Feeling like I will never amount to anything as I keep trying to ride the sober car and failing… I’m on Day 3 today but BIG deal … and then I’m reminded by blogs like this – that I need to wear the badge of honor for EACH day, each moment as I live in the NOW.

I’m also disappointed in myself because of the fact that I drank again and ate lots and regained almost 10lbs in less than a month. I feel like I could eat everything in sight and I have to get a handle on this out of control feeling.

It’s like quitting drinking makes it that I want more of everything else and I need to find that balance and peace again. I just got my workout space put back together and managed ‘one’ workout so far this week. My energy levels are off with all the bad eating – so I need to get a grip.

I also know too that taking on too much all at once will foil my efforts to staying sober – which is what so often happens with me. I figure FUCK it… I need something in my life and end up caving in. With the weekend approaching again, I need to make sure this doesn’t happen. They are calling for rain most of the weekend and I have no excuses – I have lots left to do following my move here to finish getting organized and put things up here and there. I need to make this place feel more like home. I need to just CHILL and BE. Living in the now is easier said than done though. But I’m working as best I can to do so… inspired by quotes like this… I hope to change … just like that too!

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3 thoughts on “Living in the Now

  1. Iambizi says:

    belle told me she thought that our drinking too much was a bit like OCD obsessive compulsive disorder. Wew need to focus on something else. I have been chewing a lot of sugar free gum….it has xyletol in it and is supposedly good for us!
    bizi

    • losedabooze says:

      I definitely am obsessive in some ways and I find I really have an ‘addictive’ type personality – I just need to find a good ‘new’ addiction (like working out lol).

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