Despite a really tough month – I believe that my future is truly bright and beautiful. I have been dealing with many challenges – including using the old coping mechanism of drinking to get by… but as I sit here to write this blog – I feel that things are coming to a head… and I need to set some serious REAL goals again.
I know that I don’t want to be one of those that quits forever. I don’t qualify myself as an alcoholic – although I know that I drink more than many and more often than I should.
In the midst of some very difficult challenges at home with my teen daughters – I’m grasping and feeling like sometimes I’m slipping back to a dark place – yet I’m not – because I’m here!! When I first joined and started blogging here – I had these HUGE goals … I kept counting and setting up targets… and then I’d rebel and say – hell I don’t need to quit – I’m ok. But truth is – when the balance gets out of whack as it is a bit now – I recognize that I’m not so ok and that while the comfort of booze helps soothe my pain, I must learn to deal with healthier coping mechanisms.
July 1st is around the corner – and I have SO much coming up. I’ve stepped up to serve as president for my association. I have a goal to complete another certification. I want to get fit and toned. I want to be in a better place financially. I want to help my daughters live a happy and healthy life. There are MANY HUGE changes coming for me and my girls…
I need to be HERE and aware… I need to stop the numbing process and start the living process (even if it involves some discomfort and pain). My writing continues to be my solace… and today I received a sign that perhaps I need to focus on that again too soon… and perhaps follow that dream to write as a means to earn some extra income… ah so many things to explore and do… If I am honest with myself – there’s not much time for drinking if I’m going to get all the things done that I want to do!!
My future is Bright and life is good… I need to focus on that!