30 Days AF (Alcohol Free) Commitment – June 1 to 30th, 2015

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I have decided to make June an AF month! I’m posting in all venues and forums to make myself accountable. So far this year, my AF days/counts are not great and I simply need to reset it all. I am arming myself up with support through my wonderful team on SparkPeople… 30days AF and I’ve also created the even on the HAMS Facebook page (you have to join and be a member for this group): https://www.facebook.com/events/1438736289765314/

Today is my prep day… lots of reading… as I posted in my SparkPeople post/challenge – some great links to access as well to join in. I will be using this blog to track my daily thoughts and processes…

July 1st I’m headed out to camp/vacations so the 30 days will be great to have completed before I head out!

PS – I am not looking to quit for good – but simply looking to do an evaluation of my habits and perhaps a bit of a reset…

Just One Day at a Time

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I decided to check back in and saw my last post. The 10 day streak didn’t happen. I have had 3 AF days this month so far and now hope to get 3 days in row this week. My daughter was admitted to a residential crisis unit yesterday morning and I’m almost ‘relieved’ she was accepted. For the past month she has been asking weekly for help and wanting to go in somewhere to get a break from everything. She is not sleeping nor is she eating well and it’s worrying me.

I have a meeting with the day treatment program on Friday and then a meeting regarding her school placement. While all of this has an impact on my intentions to be healthier – I continue to learn how to better cope with the now almost daily stressors my 14 year old brings on. This has been ongoing now for almost 3 years and it’s showed up in about 20lbs of weight gain for me.

The other thing that has changed in my life is that I have a boyfriend and I see possibilities to share my life with someone again – something I was beginning to think would not happen for me. He just bought a new home and has asked if I could see myself living with him someday. I know I can’t commit to anything for a couple of years – at least until my daughter is a bit older – but I have a goal that by the time she turns 16 – she will either choose to come with me or choose to stay on her own. I am not kicking her out of my life and have been the only constant in her life but I’m now counting down to this date – February 2017 where I will be moving on to a different stage of my life.

It’s interesting how this changes my perspective on so many things, including my drinking practices. I’ve been alone since 2002 so no one really saw or knew about my habits. Being around someone is different and I certainly don’t want to appear like someone who has no control over alcohol. As my profile says – I want to be in control of the alcohol and not the other way around.

So one day at a time, I’m making changes and my life is changing. Good things are coming… I’ve come a long way baby!

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The Need to Create Some “Positive” Space

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I need to surrender and truly make the next 10 days AF. I have not had any streaks in a while and I need this ‘reset’ to create the positive space to allow myself to move forward in a more positive momentum.

I continue to deal with major stressors on my home front with a trouble teenager daughter, but I can’t use that excuse to using the alcohol as my crutch. I need to practice better coping and stress management skills and so begins a new week with these intentions – of living a more positively balanced life – including healthier eating – no junk food or alcohol and cut out the diet soda stuff too. I’ll be focusing on my herbal teas and water – and try to avoid the ‘bubbly’ drinks to hopefully help me feel less bloated.

It’s more than a detox from alcohol but simply a turn to be healthier – mind/body and soul. The alcohol provides temporary relief and makes me lazy. I need to get back into my workouts which I neglect when I sit to drink.

NO TV watching this week – another trigger for my drinking. Instead I’ll use the time to tend to housework, meditation, weather permitting some walks outdoors and spend time with friends when I can. 11 days until my trip back home and it’s May 11

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Time to get moving in the RIGHT direction.