I decided to check back in and saw my last post. The 10 day streak didn’t happen. I have had 3 AF days this month so far and now hope to get 3 days in row this week. My daughter was admitted to a residential crisis unit yesterday morning and I’m almost ‘relieved’ she was accepted. For the past month she has been asking weekly for help and wanting to go in somewhere to get a break from everything. She is not sleeping nor is she eating well and it’s worrying me.
I have a meeting with the day treatment program on Friday and then a meeting regarding her school placement. While all of this has an impact on my intentions to be healthier – I continue to learn how to better cope with the now almost daily stressors my 14 year old brings on. This has been ongoing now for almost 3 years and it’s showed up in about 20lbs of weight gain for me.
The other thing that has changed in my life is that I have a boyfriend and I see possibilities to share my life with someone again – something I was beginning to think would not happen for me. He just bought a new home and has asked if I could see myself living with him someday. I know I can’t commit to anything for a couple of years – at least until my daughter is a bit older – but I have a goal that by the time she turns 16 – she will either choose to come with me or choose to stay on her own. I am not kicking her out of my life and have been the only constant in her life but I’m now counting down to this date – February 2017 where I will be moving on to a different stage of my life.
It’s interesting how this changes my perspective on so many things, including my drinking practices. I’ve been alone since 2002 so no one really saw or knew about my habits. Being around someone is different and I certainly don’t want to appear like someone who has no control over alcohol. As my profile says – I want to be in control of the alcohol and not the other way around.
So one day at a time, I’m making changes and my life is changing. Good things are coming… I’ve come a long way baby!