Finding Truths

1

Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced. ~ James Baldwin

I have been doing a lot of thinking and contemplating about my lack of progress in the area of health/weight loss. The hard truth is it WON’T happen with the level of drinking I am currently at. I am not those that has the ‘moderate’ amounts when I decide to have some. It’s never just one or two when I do allow myself drinks. And so – it means I have to decide what I want most. I have to stop thinking of what I have to ‘give up’ and perhaps focus more on what I have to GAIN (and the weight I have to lose) by making more of my days AF.

My initial intention was to make all of June AF – until my mini holiday July 1 to 5th. I then was able to get 9 consecutive days in a row AF and then a few days later one more day – but none since then. I start my mornings with the intention to make changes – but by the time the afternoon rolls around I develop a ‘fuck it’ attitude and it’s NOT healthy.

The 30lbs I’ve packed back on – I’m feeling it in that my energy levels are lower. Activities are harder or not as fun (as I’m embarrassed to be seen out and don’t like how I look when I see my reflection or profile in the mirror – my body image and self-esteem SUCKS). And so it’s a matter of digging into my true priorities instead of just letting go and coasting through my days. I need to think of NOW and be present – but I also have to consider what my ‘now’ actions are costing my future life. I honestly don’t want to feel like this anymore. And while I shouldn’t put off today what I can do NOW… I know realistically that when I go away for my mini vacation/camping – there will be lots of drinking and I know I won’t be up to abstaining then … I need to really just figure out a way to ease into this because I know my history (and my blogs attest to my back and forth about where I stand on this issue). I’m a rebel who doesn’t like to be told I can’t do something – but then again – I know in order to achieve certain goals my behaviors and actions will have to change.

I just need to find the motivation to dig in deep and just DO IT!!

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3 thoughts on “Finding Truths

  1. Kathleen L. says:

    I think baby steps need to happen. How about, instead of saying you’re going to be AF for long periods of time, say you won’t drink on Monday and Thursdays. Once you’re comfortable with a couple AF days/week, then add another one. Or you can say you won’t drink two days in a row. Or (and I have done this one a few times), say that you will average no more than 2 drinks per day over the course of a month. The beauty of this is that you allow for those days when you know you’ll have more than 2, but then you can adjust your drinking on the other days to get your average back.

    As for the other health/weight stuff, baby steps there too. Far too often I see you over commit yourself. Start small. Remember my Power of 10 plan? 10 minutes of cardio every day, 10 minutes of ST every day, 10 minutes for ME every day, and I always had 10 minutes of housework every day, but you can make that goal relevant to you.

    10 minutes may not seem like much, but more often than not, that first 10 minutes led into another 10 minutes, and another.

    You can do this.

    • losedabooze says:

      Thanks Kathleen – you know me – I dive in and yes over commit at times. Baby steps for sure… even while I’m away next week I have to figure out some small things that I can do to balance things out a bit more.

  2. Cheryl Edwards says:

    I like 10 min. I only had 1 day of abstaining. I,ve been sippin during the day, hubby doesn,t know. We have 2 glasses of wine on Fri, Sat, Sun. I love your blogs, I can relate real well! Kathleen, I like what you said. For some reason, I think women have a harder time. I do. But I want to sleep a lot! I need to get involved more with this group. Cherie

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